


i feel the burden now (it's weighing down my soul)

by inkstained_pages



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Dave | Technoblade and Wilbur Soot and TommyInnit are Siblings, Fear, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, On the Run, Phil is Best Dad, Phil is their dad, Ranboo-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Running Away, as per usual, but yeah sorry, by betrayal, dont blame fundy and quackity too much, fundy and quackity are lowkey dicks in this, he is a blessing, i love him very much as well, i think everyone on here should go to serious therapy, i would die for him, no beta we die like tubbo thought tommy did, ranboo is a precious bean, they've been traumatized
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:48:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28156329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkstained_pages/pseuds/inkstained_pages
Summary: Ranboo wondered if it was intentional or if it was just habit by now for them. He supposed it didn’t matter now. With no one left to go to, he fled the country he had been welcomed into, fled into the wilderness to the only people he knew understood.Or,In which Ranboo finally realizes what Techno meant by the L’manburgians only ever using people for their own gain and turning on them when they were useless.
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & Ranboo, Ranboo & Phil Watson, Ranboo & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 46
Kudos: 2056





	i feel the burden now (it's weighing down my soul)

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Lost Myself by Munn
> 
> !! TW for panic attacks, hypothermia and a brief mention of suicide !!
> 
> Ignore the fact that you technically have to cross an ocean to get to Techno’s house, I already had written it by the time I realized. SHHH, creative liberties for the sake of the story
> 
> unedited again cuz it's 1 am
> 
> Writing this at 2 am for two nights in a row aha please help ;-;
> 
> EDIT: i fixed it so ranboo is not shorter than tommy, my bad i had no idea and thank you to the comments who alerted me to that   
> writer's ocd go brrrrrrrrrr

Ranboo hummed to himself as he walked along the wooden path in L’manburg. It was a beautiful day; the sun was shining, there wasn’t a cloud in sight. There was a small breeze that tugged playfully at the leaves in the trees, and Ranboo could hear sheep baaing in the distance.

It was a beautiful day, and that should have been the first thing that told Ranboo something was going to go wrong. 

He ambled his way to his house and walked in, a faint smile on his lips for no reason at all, just because today was a good day.

(How wrong he was.)

The smile dropped from his lips when he turned towards his chests.

Fundy and Quackity stood there, arms folded and expressions stern. Immediately, Ranboo was on edge. People don’t just look like that. Oh no, they usually have a reason, and usually that reason is _not_ good.

“Uh, hey guys!” Ranboo said nervously, trying to keep his voice from shaking. “What brings you guys to my humble abode?” (Was that too forward? Was he being casual enough? He didn’t know, he wasn’t good at this sort of thing!)

“Oh, nothing much,” Quackity said apathetically. 

(Not good, not good, Big Q was always emotional and full of life, he was never this subdued-)

“We just had a few things to ask you,” Fundy cut in. 

“Oh, well that’s fine then, ask away.” Ranboo chuckled nervously, his hands twitching at his sides, itching for something to defend himself with. Which was crazy, these were his friends, they would never hurt him. Right?

Quackity got up from where he was sitting on a crafting table (ehehehe) “Alright. We will. Do you happen to know why Techno has all his armour back?”

Ranboo paled. Vague images play across his mind, memories of a few days prior. Snow, cold and frigid falling from the sky on a lonely house, a friend who looked better than he had in weeks, a pvp god telling him to give him back his armour if he wanted to stay (alive), becoming grudging friends with the said pvp god and actually enjoying the time spent with him.

 _Shit_.

“Uh, what do you mean?” Play dumb, play dumb, play dumb-

“I mean-” Quackity got right up into Ranboo’s personal space, eyes dark and mouth twisted into a sinister frown. “-why does _Technoblade_ , our _enemy_ , have the armour that _we stole_ , and that _you had_ in your enderchest?” Each word was punctuated with venom and Ranbo flinched back at every syllable.

“I don’t- I don’t know what you’re t-talking about,” Ranboo tried to say, but Fundy cut him off with a scoff.

“Don’t try to pretend. We know you gave it back to him,” the fox hybrid stalked forward, ears flat back in anger and sharp teeth bared in a snarl. “We know you _betrayed_ us.”

“I didn’t!” Ranboo cried out, his hands out in a placating matter, slowly backing away from his two friends (the two threats). “He threatened me, I swear I wasn’t going to! But he said he’d kill me! I wasn’t going to, I promise!”

“Then why were you even there in the first place?” Quackity demanded, eyes bright with fire. Ranboo thought his friend had never looked scarier, even when he was ranting about killing the blood god himself.

“I wasn’t- I didn’t-” Ranboo stuttered pathetically, before being interrupted. 

“You have no excuse,” Fundy snarled. “You betrayed us, the people who welcomed you into our country, the people who _trusted you_ . And you _betrayed_ us.” He shook his head disappointedly. “Pathetic.”

Ranboo felt panic claw its way up his throat. No, no, no, this wasn’t how this day was supposed to go. He was supposed to go gather more supplies with Fundy to decorate for the Christmas Festival, they were supposed to have a good time hanging out and chatting. Fundy wasn’t supposed to look at him like that, eyes filled with nothing but cruel disdain, posture tense with fury. Quackity wasn’t supposed to prowl towards him like a wolf stalking its prey, intent on ripping the target to shreds.

They were supposed to be friends, not threats.

“I’m sorry, Ranboo,” Quackity said, straightening, and for a moment, he really did look heartbroken. “But I’m going to need you to come with me.”

Ranboo stared at his friend in shock. “What do you mean?”

“He means that we’re going to have to take you into custody, for treason and betrayal of L’manburg,” Fundy clarified, as if the statement needed clarification.

Quackity reached for Ranboo, who instantly recoiled. Terror filled his lungs and suddenly he couldn’t breathe. What was happening?

“Don’t make this difficult, Ranboo.” He reached again and Ranboo whirled around, throwing the door wide open and sprinting out.

“Hey! Get back here!” 

Shouts came from behind him, but Ranboo hurtled through the pathways and out of L’manburg, not looking back.

His mind was swirling with thoughts, each more panicked and frenzied than the last. Why was he being detained? Why were his friends arresting him? He explained the situation to them! He told them that it wasn’t his choice! They hadn’t even listened, they had just told him he was a traitor.

Those weren’t his friends back there. His friends would never look at him like that, with ice in their eyes and fire in their motions. Those were cruel dictators, the leaders of a nation built on blood and destined to forever spill it.

So Ranboo ran, and he ran, and ran, and ran. He ran until his lungs screamed at him to stop and his legs gave out beneath him, sending him tumbling into the snow.

Wait, snow?

When Ranboo finally regained his breath after a few minutes of gasping for air, he sat up shakily. 

He was in a tundra and it was snowing. He must not have noticed the change of climate in his haste to get away. In his panic, his body had taken him to the only safe place he had left. 

Techno and Tommy.

Ranboo could see the smoke from the house curling into the sky in the far distance and he gasped in relief, lungs still not fully recovered from his desperate flight.

He struggled to his feet, finally noticing the bite of the wind and the wetness of his clothes after his fall into the snow. He hadn’t even been wearing his armour when he ran, having planned a peaceful and fun day with no need for the protection. What a mistake that had been.

Really, Ranboo had nothing useful on him. He had his netherite tools and a few pieces of steak, but that was it. He had cleared his inventory thinking he would have needed it for building supplies.

He had nothing.

Ranboo began stumbling his way towards the house, having really no options left to him. He couldn’t turn back, they would surely capture and execute him. He couldn’t go to the Dream SMP, he was a member of L’manburg and he held no love for Dream, who he had watched manipulate his friend to the point of near-suicide. 

The only way was forward, and so Ranboo began the long trek, shivering from head to toe from the cold and the shock of having two of his friends turn on him so quick for the sake of a country.

Ranboo could never grasp the love of trivial things such as a piece of land or a signed deed. He was loyal to the people he loved and the friends he had made. He was indeed a man of love and loyalty, but to his friends and people who had shown him kindness first. He would never understand the need to turn on a friend so quickly for a spot of land.

(Distantly, through the cold and shock setting in, Ranboo remembered words spoken by an enemy-turned-reluctant-friend a few days before. He remembered being told that L’manburg would always use the people that belonged to it, would use them and use them and use them until they were deemed worthless. Then, it would toss them aside for something new that could give it what it wanted. Ranboo remembered, and he grieved.)

~ ~ ~

When Ranboo finally crested the hill that overlooked the house, he could have cried with relief if his everything wasn’t so numb. He could barely walk from the frigid cold, only still moving forward from his sheer determination and the knowledge that he would die alone out in the wilderness if he stopped.

He stumbled his way down the hill, not even shivering anymore, which he vaguely knew was a very bad sign. He couldn’t really seem to muster the energy to care, however. Everything felt sort of fuzzy, and the cold didn’t even feel that bad anymore. It was all just numb.

He kept going though, barely registering the reason why anymore, just that if he stopped moving he would die.

A flurry of movement caught his attention, however. He looked up with glazed over eyes and saw three figures running out of the house. He wondered in passing who the third one was (wasn’t there only supposed to be two people here?), but then his legs finally gave out and Ranboo collapsed into the snow.

He felt a pair of warm arms wrap around him and vaguely heard panicked voices, before the darkness took him and he passed out.

~ ~ ~

It was warm when Ranboo woke. Comforting heat wrapped around him and he shifted further into it. He didn’t really remember where he was, but his mind wasn’t screaming at him to get up and get moving, so he assumed he was safe.

“Ranboo?” A voice sounded from beside him, and he scrunched his face together. Did he have to answer? He was warm and comfortable and opening his eyes meant that he would no longer be in ignorant bliss.

“Ranboo, can you hear me?” But the voice was persistent, and Ranboo groaned, before blinking open his eyes.

It was really bright, and he hissed, before the light dimmed to a more acceptable level for his sensitive eyes.

He was lying in a bed in a quaint little house, chest stacked against a wall, a fireplace blazing in the corner. It was familiar enough that Ranboo felt no need to run, but his mind distantly warned him to be wary.

He turned to where the voice came from and found a middle-aged man sitting on a chair, looking tired and worn. His blond hair was a bit disheveled and there were dark bags under his eyes. Ranboo noticed the man had wings and he blinked a few times before his mind supplied him with a name.

“...Phil?” His voice was hoarse and the words came out as a whisper.

“Here,” the winged man said, handing Ranboo a cup of water and helping him sit up and drink it. Even that made the world spin around him, and he slumped back into the bed.

“Where am I?” He asked hesitantly. His memory was still a little fuzzy, but he did remember the agonizing feeling of _betrayal_ and _fear_ and _run run runrunrun-_

“You’re at Techno’s house,” Phil replied soothingly, putting a comforting hand on Ranboo’s head. “You came last night out of nowhere with barely anything to keep you warm. You collapsed right outside the house and we brought you in here. You had severe hypothermia, but Techno and I know how to treat that, so you should be good as new in a couple of days.” He paused and looked Ranboo over with a critical eye. Ranboo tried not to flinch under the gaze. “What were you doing out there so late and with nothing to protect you from the cold?”

Ranboo hesitated, trying to recall the events that led him to the arctic house. He remembered it being a beautiful day in L’manburg, and he was going to his house to gather supplies for the festival. He remembered opening the door and-

_Cold eyes, alight with fury, snarls of anger replacing smiles and laughter. Friends turning on him and threatening to arrest him, execute him, for no real reason at all. The burning feeling of betrayal and the realization that Techno had been right all along, he was only ever a tool to them, a weapon to be used until he wasn’t needed anymore and then he would be tossed away-_

“-oah, hey,calm down, Ranboo.” A voice cut him out of his painful memories and he realized he wasn’t breathing right, he was gasping for air that wasn’t coming in. 

He looked up at Phil, eyes wide and panicked, breaths coming in short wheezes. “I can’t- I don’t-”

“Ranboo, I need you to breathe with me, you’re fine, you’re safe here, you’re alright,” Phil said comfortingly. He took Ranboo’s hand and placed it on his chest, gripping the wrist to ground him. “I need you to breathe with me, can you do that? In and out, in and out.”

Tears burned at Ranboo’s eyes and his lungs weren’t working right, but he managed to suck in a shaky breath and let it out in a gasp. He was trembling all over, but with Phil beside him and the steady feeling of a person (a _safe_ person) helped to ground Ranboo to reality. 

After a couple minutes of exaggerated breathing on Phil’s part, and breathless wheezing on Ranboo’s, the hybrid finally calmed down, still shaking uncontrollably.

Phil let go of Ranboo’s wrist slowly and Ranboo took it back, wrapping his arms around himself. His breathing was still off and he was trembling, but he was okay. He was fine, he was fine. He was, right?

“I’m- I’m alright,” he managed to get out. “I’m okay. I think.”

“You’re safe here, Ranboo,” Phil said again, reaching out and gripping a hand on his shoulder in a comforting manner. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.” Ranboo blinked a few times to clear his head, his breathing finally returning back to normal. Waking up from a hypothermia-induced coma and then immediately being launched into a panic attack took it’s toll on Ranboo’s body and he curled back into the blankets, exhausted.

Phil placed his hand on Ranboo’s head and began running his fingers through his hair. The action was soothing and not unlike what his parents did to him when he was young (it was so long ago he could barely remember it), and soon Ranboo drifted back off into sleep

~ ~ ~

Ranboo awoke again to the sounds of muffled talking and the occasional indignant screeching.

_Ah, Tommy._

“He’ll wake up when he wakes up, now calm down before you break something.” That was Techno, the deep monotone unmistakable.

“But he’s been asleep for so _long_ and I wanna talk to him.” That was undoubtedly Tommy, the impatient and high pitched voice out of place beside Techno’s serious one. “It’s been two days since he came here and I haven’t even spoken to him once! He was my friend first you know.”

“I already told you he woke up yesterday and had a panic attack. Those take a lot out of you, so I’m not surprised he fell back asleep for another day.” Phil was still there, his calm and comforting presence also distinct against that of his two sons. Ranboo vaguely wondered how such different people could end up calling each other family, but then he fully woke up and turned over on his side.

He opened his eyes and found himself staring at a grinning Tommy right up in his face.

“He’s awake!” Tommy crowed, causing Ranboo to flinch at the volume.

“Quiet, you little gremlin child, you’ll burst his eardrums.” Phil pulled Tommy down from the bed and Ranboo sat up, looking around.

All three of them were sat around his bed looking as though they had been doing multiple different things. Phil had a book in his hands, something by a guy named Sun Tzu. Techno looked to be sharpening a sword, and Tommy- well. Tommy was Tommy and Ranboo had never been able to figure the blond out, so he didn’t even try to guess what the boy was doing with a pile of string, an ender pearl, and some raw chicken.

“Uh. Good morning?” Ranboo said hesitantly. He didn’t really know how to act around these people. Tommy, sure, they were friends and Ranboo had visited him enough in exile to know what the blond was like. But the other two, he had no idea what to say around them. “Thanks for uh, taking care of me, I guess. Sorry about passing out, by the way.”

Techno grunted. “It’s fine.”

Phil rolled his eyes and nudged the pig hybrid roughly, who then looked affronted. “Ignore him. It’s alright, mate. Wasn’t a problem.”

Ranboo nodded, before realizing something. “Wait, sorry to bring this up, but aren’t you supposed to be in L’manburg under house arrest?”

Phil blinked before shrugging. “I mean, technically? But I’ve never really bowed to anyone’s rules so, here I am.”

“Unless you’ve got a problem with that?” Techno asked, deliberately eyeing the glowing sword in his hand.

Ranboo gulped, remembering harsh words from friends and a promise of execution from the same people. “No, no. It’s fine. It’s great, really. No p-problem here. Nope, none at all.” He sounded like an idiot, didn’t he?

“Techno! Stop scaring the poor kid. He’s been through something, anyone can see that. Leave him alone,” Phil, ever the voice of reason, broke in.

Techno huffed grumpily. “He did try and assassinate me. But fine, have it your way, Phil.”

“Uh, yeah. Sorry about that,” Ranboo apologized. “Like I said, I’m extremely impressionable.” He winced. “It’s not- it didn’t really, uh, help me in the end. Which is why I’m actually here. Uh.” Ranboo dug his nails into his arm and bit his lip. “They uh, found out I gave you back your armour and they weren’t too happy. Um, they said they were gonna arrest me for treason. And you all know, uh, what the penalty for treason is. I ran after that, and this was the only place I could think of that wouldn’t kill me.”

Silence. Ranboo dared glance up at the three people around him. 

Tommy looked heartbroken.

Phil looked horrified.

And Techno, he didn’t even look smug at being right. He just looked sad.

“You were right, Techno,” Ranboo continued. “When you said that L’manburg only ever uses people and throws them away when their usefulness is at an end.” Ranboo tugs his knees to his chest and wills the tears pooling in his eyes to go away. “I wish you weren’t, but you are.”

Tommy shuffled towards Ranboo and reached out hesitantly, eyes wide and filled with hurt. “Do you want a hug? Phil always hugs me when I’m upset.”

Ranboo paused before nodding. Tommy scooted next to the hybrid and gathered him in his arms. It was odd, being held by a boy younger than him, but not in a bad way. Ranboo was surprised at the gentle nature of the hug and how well-versed Tommy seemed to be in the hugging department. He had never seen this soft side of the boy before, but he couldn’t say he disliked it.

He allowed himself a few minutes to shake apart before pulling away and wiping his eyes.

Phil and Techno seemed to be having some sort of conversation with their eyes that ended the moment Tommy and Ranboo pulled apart.

Techno turned to Ranboo. “You can stay here if you like.” Ah, ever the blunt man he was. “I know I’m not the… _best_ roommate to have, considering, well. Everything. But you’ll be safe here. I promise.” His eyes were cold, they always were, Ranboo reasoned, but they held sincerity that Ranboo couldn’t help but grasp at. It was much better than cold fury.

“I’d like that, I think,” he replied. “As long as I’m not interfering with anything?”

“You’re fine,” Techno reassured him. “You can room with Tommy if you’d like.”

“Woo! We’re roomies!” Tommy shouted, back to his cheerful and loud self. Ranboo missed this Tommy, the real one. He had watched as in exile Tommy descended deeper and deeper into a depression, strung up and being tossed around by Dream. He had been helpless then, but now maybe not so much. He could still see the hints of what exile had done to Tommy on the boy; the gauntness of his face and pale skin, the very obvious skinniness and the haunted look in his eyes that always lingered just under the surface. Ranboo saw, and he vowed to make sure that nothing like that ever happened to his friend again.

“Yeah, we’re roomies!” Ranboo cried in return, trying to match Tommy’s enthusiasm. 

“Oh, we’re going to cause so much shit together, just you wait Ranboo,” Tommy cackled, looking positively gleeful. “When you’re feeling better, I’ll show you all around the house and our little raccoon hole.”

“Raccoon hole?” Ranboo asked, eyebrow quirked in confusion, looking to Phil for answers.

“Don’t ask,” Phil said, the hint of a smile creeping onto his face. “Techno will have an aneurism.” 

Techno just facepalmed and shook his head. “This is going to be the end of me, isn’t it.”

Phil just laughed and patted his son’s back. “You’ll be alright, mate. I’ll come by whenever I can to entertain the gremlins for a while so you can breathe properly for a short bit.”

Tommy cackled again and Techno just groaned.

Surrounded by warmth and laughter, Ranboo thought that maybe this could work. It was a makeshift situation, one that was as fragile and tentative as a newborn deer, but he was determined to make it work.

These were the only people who understood. The only people who knew where he was coming from and what he had been through. With them, he could be safe, just like Techno had promised.

With them, Ranboo could breathe.

**Author's Note:**

> can i just say that tubbo ending stream after going to logsteadshire on a black screen was absolutely POG storytelling. Like DAMN that was chilling. pog to him and everyone for being such great actors  
> the angst tho ;-;


End file.
